


After A While

by Zukkashipper



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Ambassador Sokka (Avatar), Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Complicated Relationships, Eventual Happy Ending, Firelord Zuko (Avatar), Fluff and Angst, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Happy Ending, I tried to write angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, did it work?, everything gets complicated for no reason but it’s alright, it gets good and then it gets bad and then good again, i’m sorry Suki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28282719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zukkashipper/pseuds/Zukkashipper
Summary: Zuko and Sokka get to see each other again after a while spent apart. are they really just going to stay friends like they intended to be?
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is the sequel to my story A Little Rainbow however, you don’t necessarily have to read it in order to enjoy this one so no pressure.

Sokka couldn’t quite realize it yet. after all these years he was headed back to the fire nation, or more precisely to the fire nation’s palace where Zuko was living. the wind was blowing through Sokka’s hair, he had let his bun down for the boat ride that would last a few days. it was the middle of the night anyways, so it didn’t bother him. he had kept his signature hairstyle, both sides of his head shaved, and the rest put up in a top knot. Sokka had grown since the two man had last seen each other, that was about a year ago. he was taller and more built, he still had been training even if the world wasn’t truly in danger anymore. he wondered how Zuko had changed, last time he saw him his hair were put in a tight bun with the fire nation crown decorating the traditional fire nation royal’s hairstyle. they barely talked that day, only awkwardly staring at each other, looking away when they caught themselves staring for too long. Sokka never really thought he would one day come back to the palace, even less as an ambassador, but he wasn’t mad about that fact. 

they had broken up after two year’s of dating, because of long distance, and it had been almost four years since they haven’t seen each other apart from meetings. but it didn’t really count since they could only see each other for a brief moment and then Zuko had to leave, and when they tried to somewhat have a conversation it was too awkward for it to be considered actually something. he hoped that his arrival to the palace wouldn’t bother Zuko and that things would be less awkward. he didn’t know for how long he was staying. whenever they needed him back at the southern water tribe he’d immediately go back, but other than that, he wasn’t sure how long his stay would last.

the next day they arrived at the palace. it was weirdly quiet and seemed oddly dead, like only spirits lived in there. the assistants took Sokka’s luggage and he was off wandering around, not looking for anything in particular. it had been around three years since he last had been there, and he was still with Zuko at that time. he didn’t really remember much of the insides of the place, it being too big, however he still recognized some corners and doors. he arrived to this one special place, the one he wasn’t quite sure if he could enter. he decided to anyways, what’s the worse that couldn’t happen?  exactly , almost nothing. he closed the door behind him before stepping outside and sitting under a tree near a fountain where some turtle ducks were bathing. it was quiet, the air was soft and refreshing, waking up Sokka from his tiring trip. he leaned his head on the tree and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. 

“enjoying yourself?” a familiar voice shouted.

he opened one eye to see Zuko, looking at him with a small smile and sneaky eyes. his hair were long, only the front part put up in a bun, the rest was falling on his shoulder and touching his back. he also had grown and his muscles could be visible through his robe.

“kinda yea.” Sokka replied.

“may i sit?” Zuko said.

“suit yourself, it’s your palace after all.” Sokka said, finally opening both of his eyes.

Zuko sat down in the shade of the tree, Sokka was eyeing him, like examining every movement that was going on.  he really grew didn’t he.  Zuko thought to himself. he couldn’t resist from staring at Sokka’s muscular arms and sculpted jawline. a moment passed in silence, like the two were catching up on the physical plan.

“so how life has been?” Sokka finally said, shooting finger guns at Zuko.

“it’s been alright. what about you?” 

“it’s been okay...” Sokka said, a his hand rubbing his neck.

“Suki works here you know.” Zuko said, trying to break the ice a little more.

“really? that’s great...” he answered, seemingly uninterested.

“are you guys... still in contact?” Zuko asked awkwardly. Suki had came to the palace as Zuko’s personal guard and since then they’ve been pretty great friends, but it never crossed his mind to ask her about her relationship with Sokka.

“well... we wrote some letters here and there but nothing more.” Sokka said, looking at the fountain.

well, it was awkward again. did something happen between him and Suki? 

“anyways, when is diner because i’m getting hungry and i’ve heard that fire nation food is the best kind out there.” Sokka said, getting up.

“well i could ask to eat now.” Zuko said, about to push himself off the ground when Sokka gave him his hand and he took it. 

a little electric shock went through their fingers, Sokka pulled up Zuko and they looked at each other in the eyes for what seemed like a thousand years. their faces were dangerously close to each other, Zuko turning bright pink. he looked away, like ashamed and let go of Sokka’s hand. 

“i could ask to eat now if you’re hungry.” Zuko cleared his voice.

“of course.” Sokka said and they went back inside.

Sokka was following Zuko around, examining the hallways and doors. the palace was huge and he wondered if Zuko ever felt lonely in there. was Zuko even alone? it wouldn’t surprise him if he went back to Mai or found some other girl or guy to replace him.

“it’s kind of crazy that you remembered that place.” Zuko said, still walking.

“what?” Sokka asked, stripped out of his thoughts.

“well out of all the doors, you chose the one that lead to one of my favourite places in this palace.” Zuko said a little smile on his lips.

“i didn’t know i just took some random door and it looked nice so i went.” he blushed.

“we used to go there all the time... when y’know. we were still a thing.” 

Sokka went silent. for a moment he remembered about the time spent with Zuko at this specific place. they often went there when Sokka came over to the fire nation, they spent their afternoons laying down looking at the clouds, talking about whatever. 

“Zuko?” Sokka asked him.

“mmmh?” he replied.

“are you... um. i- i mean, not that i- i wanna do something but like i just want to know, maybe perhaps?”

“what?” Zuko said raising an eyebrow.

“ugh never mind.” Sokka sighed, maybe right now wouldn’t be the right time to ask Zuko about his personal life.

they finally arrived to the dining room, Zuko pushed open the large door and Sokka had a view of the room. it was pretty large, fire was illuminating it. there was a long table that could seat at least ten people and Sokka wondered if the places ever got filled. they sat down in front of each other, and not even a minute later they got served with piles of food. 

“woa... do you eat like this every night?” Sokka asked, his eyes open wide.

“if i want to i can but i don’t like making people waste making me huge amount of food for nothing.” 

“i could get used to this.” Sokka said, attacking his plate.

Zuko laughed, and they started eating.

“so how long are you staying?” Zuko asked Sokka.

“i have no idea. until they need me at home i’ll be going back though.” Sokka said.

“oh okay.” Zuko said, his voice a little low. 

Sokka pretended not to notice and about a hour later they were done eating. Zuko showed Sokka his room, which wasn’t far from his so if Sokka needed anything he could quickly run to his room. they wished each other goodnight and went to bed in their respective rooms. Sokka’s bags were sitting in his room since he has arrived so he decided now would be the right time to unpack everything. he then went to bed and quickly fell asleep, he had a tiring day after all, but he was happy to see Zuko again.


	2. Chapter 2

Sokka woke up in satin bedsheets, not used to the softness of the mattress. he had a great night of sleep, dreaming about chasing enormous quantities of food that were attacking people, the usual. he got up and went to his personal bathroom in order to get ready for the day, his hair put up in his usual bun and one of his thousand blue shirts. he went out of his room and directed himself to the dining room, where Zuko probably was. to his surprise, he wasn’t there so he decided to keep wandering around, trying to look for him. he was about to turn the corner of a hallway before he heard someone shouting his name. 

“Sokka wait for me!” the voice said, Sokka turned around in order to identify who the person was. to his surprise, Suki was walking towards him, waving. he waited for her, completely numb, and when she arrived next to him he didn’t know what to say. she had definitely changed since the last time they saw each other, when she left for Kyoshi island and then little to zero news from her. her hair were still the same length and style, and she was a little taller. she smiled at him and he smiled back.

“so...? who are you looking for?” she finally said.

“Zuko.” Sokka replied blushing.

“oh he’s in his study room, i don’t know if you’re allowed to go there.” 

“why wouldn’t i? i’m an ambassador after all.” Sokka said, giving himself a higher look.

“oh yes of course so sorry.” Suki said, mimicking bowing while rolling her eyes.

“so where is it?” Sokka asked.

“i can show you if you want you were pretty close.” 

“after you.” Sokka joked, Suki took the lead and he followed her.

“so why are you here exactly?” Sokka asked her.

“i’m Zuko’s personal guard.” she replied, “it’s been almost two years now.”

Sokka remembered Zuko telling him that he became closer to Suki, he didn’t know that was the reason why.

“don’t you miss the Kyoshi warriors?” he asked.

“i can go and visit them every month for a week but i still miss them.” 

“yeah i understand.” he said, the rest of the walk was in silence.

they arrived at the study room, Suki wished him good luck and then left. Sokka knocked on the door, with no answer. he slightly opened the heavy wooden door to see Zuko reading what seemed like something quite important, his face frowned. he made sure to make no noise, spying on Zuko carefully. he was admiring his ways, things that haven’t changed, like for example the way he paid attention to every single word written on the paper. Sokka couldn’t help himself but think about how gorgeous Zuko was, and still is. his thoughts were cut off when Zuko met his eyes, a severe look directed at him. he gulped and quickly walked away, before he felt himself getting pushed against the wall. Zuko was holding him back, starring at him with little to no expression on his face. 

“i- i’m sor-“ Sokka tried to say but nothing could come out of his mouth.

the proximity of their mouth facing each other was making Sokka blush. Zuko usually wouldn’t have reacted that way, so since when did he become so...  _ different _ ? Zuko smirked before letting him go, Sokka taking a deep breathe, like trying to gain back some air. 

“just don’t spy on me like that again.” Zuko winked and left to go back to his study room leaving the door half opened.

did that really just happen? Sokka needed some moment to process the series of events. did Zuko just wink at him? and did he really slam him against the wall? for what? he felt his cheeks burn and his heartbeat was going way too fast for his liking. 

he quickly walked back to his room where he closed the door and went to sit on his bed, his face in between his sweaty palms. he tried to convince himself that all of that didn’t happen, not that he didn’t like it, but he couldn’t have. how would he look like, the new southern water tribe ambassador falling in love with the firelord, which also happens to be his ex boyfriend.

their past relationship never went public, they decided it would be better for them to stay private. what would people think anyways? the firelord dating a man? what in the world! it also made the break up easier. well, in a way it did make it less painful, but that didn’t erase the nights Sokka spent crying trying to forget about his past lover. so he couldn’t like him again. no, it was a misunderstanding, completely. Zuko simply got too heated and Sokka understood that, it was nothing more, nothing less. he got up and washed his face with cold water before leaning in on the sinks and looking at himself in the mirror.

“you are not falling for him again.”

he said out loud while pointing at the reflection of his damp face.

“ great. ”

he sighed and decided to spend the rest of the day exploring the rest of the palace, creating a mental map of the complex buildin. Zuko was still on his mind, even if he didn’t want to.

Zuko was sitting in front of Sokka again. even though they had seemed to have a pretty great connection the night before, things were now awkward between them. the silence between them was too evident to ignore yet too uncomfortable to address.

Zuko wondered if he fucked things up with Sokka earlier. he probably did anyways, who in their right mind would slam their ambassador against the wall? only Zuko apparently. he didn’t even know exactly  why he was doing that, his soul leaving his body for a split second, gaining back his manners when they were so close their noses were almost touching. he quickly had to pull away, knowing it would’ve been hard to resist crashing his lips onto Sokka’s. 

since the water tribe boy had arrived yesterday, Zuko couldn’t stop daydreaming about him, like when they were younger. it reminded him of the good times were things maybe weren’t so simple, yet they weren’t as weird as now. Zuko had accepted the fact that he was firelord, or at least he made himself believe that, and he had come to terms years ago that him and Sokka were definitely over. he had cried about it, it was rough to let go of the only person he had loved so much so far. since Sokka, Zuko didn’t try and find someone to replace him. not that anyone could take Sokka’s place, but also because he didn’t feel interested by anyone.

he had tried talking to Mai again, with no success. she had moved on anyways and she didn’t need Zuko anymore. he didn’t need Mai either, that he was sure of, but he felt like it would be fire nation’s duty to date someone who’s powerful. argh who was he kidding? he is the damn  _firelord_ , for Agni’s sake! no one could tell him what to do or who to date. yet he still cared a little about how people saw him. appart from Mai, he didn’t try anyone else. he knew girls weren’t his thing, and no guy could ever beat Sokka, so he gave up. 

but then, when he learned that a new water tribe ambassador would be staying in the palace for awhile, and that that said ambassador turned out to be Sokka, he felt excitement in his chest. he rapidly pushed down those feelings however, because they had broken up, and they can’t go and date again, especially now that they were older and that Zuko had a duty to marry a girl and have kids. but still, he couldn’t forget about Sokka and how much he had missed him, and now, because of him, it was all awkward over again. 

“so... the food.” Zuko said, trying to start a conversation.

“yea... tasty.” Sokka replied, picking his plate.

it was then silent again, Zuko trying to think of what he could say, anything.

“Sokka i’m sorry for earlier. it was weird i shouldn’t have.” he said, rubbing his neck.

“it’s alright... it just caught me by surprise.” Sokka said, then cleared his throat, “i’m gonna go back to my room now.” he said and got up.

“have a great night.” Zuko shouted, still sitting down, Sokka smiled at him and closed the door, “STUPID!” he screamed to himself, face palming. 

he then went back to his room, closing the door behind him before crashing in his immensely large bed. he shoved his hands into his face and took a deep breath.

_ why did i even do that? now he probably hates me and will never speak to me again. and i deserve it. yeah i probably do. ugh, but why do i care so much? he’s just a friend.  _

_ “friends don’t push each other against a wall and then get super close like that.” _

_ we are friends. and i like Sokka as a friend. nothing more, nothing less. that’s it deal with it. _

Zuko thought to himself. he still didn’t like the position him and Sokka were in right now, both in their room, things awkward. he decided it was best for him to talk to Sokka. first thing in the morning he would get up and talk to him. yes, that sounded like a plan. he got up and put his pyjamas on before hoping into bed and close his eyes. after rolling over and over in his bed, unable to make his mind shut up he thought that maybe it would be best for him to talk to Sokka now instead. it wasn’t that late anyways. he got out the covers and walked to Sokka’s room, who wasn’t far from his. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the very short chapter!! i’m working on making them longer don’t worry but the next ones might also be kind of short...  
> if you enjoyed please leave a kudo it’s always appreciated :)   
> follow me on twitter too: @zukkashipper


	3. Chapter 3

arrived in front of the high wooden door, he softly knocked before hearing Sokka’s voice.

“who is it?” he asked.

“it’s me Zuko... can i come in?” Zuko murmured, he didn’t want to bring any attention on him.

“oh uh yea sure.” the water tribe boy said.

Zuko entered the room and closed the door behind him before sitting on the end of the bed, next to Sokka.

“so what’s up?” he asked.

Sokka’s hair were down, and he didn’t have a shirt on. he was probably headed to bed before Zuko came in. he admired his muscles, who had clearly developed. he snapped out of his thoughts, and looked at Sokka who was starring back at him.

“so...?” he said.

“oh yeah um. can we talk?” Zuko said, his cheeks were burning.

“yeah of course, i mean. that’s why i let you in.” Sokka replied.

“oh uh yea right. why else would i come in your room in the middle of the night except for talking?” Zuko said, clearing his throat.

“um... i don’t know, a hug maybe?” Sokka said, before realizing what just came out of his mouth.

they both blushed and looked away.

“i- i mean i didn’t mean it like that.” Sokka tried to save himself.

“oh uh yeah no it’s- i- i get it.” 

the room went silent again, Sokka was playing with the bedsheets, Zuko playing with his thumbs.

“i made things even more awkward didn’t i?” Sokka said, looking at Zuko.

“i made them awkward first tho. i’m sorry for that.” Zuko said, still loooking down at his hands.

“maybe we should start over then.”

Zuko looked back at Sokka with a question mark printed on his face.

“let’s just pretend i just arrived and we’re just good old friends! because technically, that’s what we are.” he said, a half believable smile drawn on his face.

“that sounds great.” Zuko smiled.

Sokka hugged Zuko who didn’t react at first but he then hugged him back. it felt like it lasted for a good hour, both catching up on what each other felt like, they had missed it. when they finally pulled away, they looked in each other’s eyes, like trying to read their faces. Sokka got closer, almost leaning in for a kiss, Zuko turned red, looking at Sokka’s lips, but not resisting into what could happen next. Sokka quickly realized what he was about to do and quickly looked away. his face was red, so was Zuko’s who was now looking down at his feet.

“so... um... yeah. friends.” Zuko said.

“best friends?” Sokka said, looking at Zuko, a little embarrassed.

“yeah. i- i like that.” he said, smiling a little before going back to his room.

Sokka fell down on his bed, did he make things awkward  again ? spirits, what was he thinking? he rolled over to his side. what if Zuko and him had kissed? would Zuko even kiss him back? probably not anyways. he was sure Zuko didn’t like him, it made sense anyways, and he didn’t even like Zuko that way either, so it was all good.

_ but what about what happened in the hallway? _

_ “what about it?” _

_ well... that wasn’t necessary friendly if you ask me. plus, you kinda liked it. _

_ “well it wasn’t friendly. but he was just a little angry i was spying on him. i would’ve been too, i think. and no i didn’t like it at all!” _

_ he thought to himself, before slowly drifting to sleep, Zuko still on his mind. _

the next morning, Sokka had to wake up early, his first meeting with other nations representatives was today, and he couldn’t afford to be late. he dressed up and put his hair up in his signature bun before heading to the dining room. Zuko was sitting at the table, drinking his tea when Sokka came in the room.

“good morning.” he saluted, Sokka sat down in front of him, as usual.

a servant gave him a plate of porridge and a cup for his tea, he thanked her and started to eat.

“would you like some tea?” Zuko proposed to him.

“yeah sure.” 

“so are you excited for your first ambassador meeting?” Zuko said, pouring some green tea in Sokka’s cup.

“i don’t know if excited is the best word, but i’m pretty sure it’s gonna be cool.” Sokka said, taking a sip of his tea, “what about you, firelord Zuko?”

he rolled his eyes, “i wouldn’t say excited, knowing how meetings usually go.” 

“what? are they really  that boring?”

“the only exciting ones are when i get to travel, and even then they end up being old people talking about what my ancestors did in the past and how i could restore it.”

“but it was exciting when you got to see me.” Sokka smirked, lifting up his eyebrows.

“don’t make me roll my eyes again.” Zuko laughed.

“you’d love that.” Sokka replied and before Zuko could pronounce another word, a servant told them it was time for their meeting.

they walked to the conference room, where the earth kingdom ambassador, president of the united republics and Aang were already discussing. 

“Aang!” Sokka exclaimed, jumping into his arms for a hug. even tho he saw Aang a few months ago, he had still grown a little. he was now twenty two and he had changed a lot since they lived together in Ba Sing Se.

“Sokka it’s been awhile!” Aang said hugging him back.

“how’s Katara going?” Sokka asked, pulling away from the hug.

“great. she misses you. you know you can come over anytime right?” 

“yeah of course when i have time i’ll come and say hi.” 

Zuko and Aang hugged too before they saluted the earth kingdom ambassador and the president. they then went and sat down on their respective chairs, Zuko at the head of the table.

“so how is republic city going?” Zuko asked.

“great, we can clearly see an augmentation on the number of citizens in the city.” the president said, “and the rate in crime is surprisingly low, thanks to chief Beifong. she’s handling things pretty well for her young age.”

“great. if there’s anything we can help with, let us know.” Aang said.

the rest of the meeting was pretty much the same thing over and over. how can Aang help and put more balance into the world, the fire nation’s plan to give back to the earth kingdom and the southern water tribe. it ended about two hours later, Sokka exhausted.

Aang proposed to go and drink some tea and so they went to this little tea place where Zuko often liked hanging out when he had nothing to do, which was rare but it happened. the owners didn’t give him any special treatments because he was firelord and he liked, for once, to be treated as a regular human being and not praised and bowed like he was a some kind of spirit. 

after a hour or two spent talking about whatever and catching up on old stuff,Aang decided it was best for him to head back home, the flight would take a few days. watching Appa become a little dot in the sky, Zuko and Sokka were left to themselves again. they still couldn’t brush off what happened yesterday in Sokka’s room. why did they almost kiss? why did it feel right yet so wrong? Zuko wanted to ask him about the situation, but it wasn’t weird this morning and he didn’t want to fall into that hole of awkwardness again so he let it go.

“so... that was quite a long day.” Sokka sighed.

“yea it was.” Zuko agreed.

“wanna take a bath?”

“w-what?” Zuko exclaimed, and his cheeks quickly turned red.

“what do you mean  what ? i heard bathing helps reduce stress after a long kinda boring day.”

“i suppose you’re right in a way.”

“of course i’m right! i’m always right when it comes to relaxation.” Sokka offered a bright smile, Zuko answering by rolling his eyes, “be careful out there rolling your eyes that many times you may stay stuck with that face on.” he joked.

“as long as your talking i’ll have that face on so i guess i’ll just save me time.” Zuko smirked.

“wow i feel hurt,i bet hot water could help me feel better.” Sokka said.

“okay let’s just go get changed and we’ll go.” 

“perfect!” Sokka clapped his hands, Zuko letting out a little giggle due to Sokka’s excitement and they went to change.


	4. Chapter 4

he didn’t really understand why he was so stressed to bathe with Sokka. it’s  _ just _ Sokka after all, he’s a great friend. yea right, that’s all he was. Zuko took his towel and went to the baths where Sokka was already in the water, his eyes closed, like he was napping. his head was resting on the border of the bath. Zuko couldn’t help but stare at him, he had a nice figure after all. Sokka opened his eyes and Zuko quickly looked away, trying to cover up what he was doing.

“so? are you gonna join me or what?” Sokka smirked.

he shook his head and went to sit in front of Sokka in the hot water.

Sokka stared at Zuko, admiring him. he had changed so much in the past years, his long hair were tied up in a bun and he only had shorts on. i mean, what else could he have been wearing for bathing? Sokka gulped to the view of Zuko’s muscular chest slowly sinking into water. 

_ so he did have time to stay in shape even in his busy schedule. _

“this is great isn’t it?” Sokka said.

“yea it is.” Zuko replied.

“do you do this often?” he asked.

“not really.” Zuko said, relaxed.

“and why is that?” 

“i don’t know, i really underestimated how relaxing it could be.”

“yeah yeah right.” Sokka smirked.

“ _ what _ ?” Zuko said, opening an eye.

“what  _ what _ ?” Sokka joked.

“wh- ugh nevermind.” Zuko said, closing back his eyes.

Sokka smirked again, he loved messing with Zuko, he didn’t really know why but seeing the firelord annoyed made him smile a little. 

“so... anything exciting happening in your life right now?” he said.

“same old ruler of a nation things. nothing less, nothing more.” Zuko replied.

“apart from that i mean. no girlfriend or boyfriend or anything? maybe a wife or husband that i’m unaware of?” 

“i’m... not interested in girls.” Zuko said.

“okay then... any boys?” 

“i can’t be seen with a man Sokka.” he said, a little annoyed.

“why?” 

“because! i’m supposed to pass on that firelord thing and i can’t have a child with another guy.” 

“so you’ll be alone for the rest of your life?” Sokka said, puzzled. it hurt him a little to hear that Zuko didn’t want to date anyone -including him, he thought-.

“yeah i guess i’ll be... alone.” he said, his voice was low.

Sokka didn’t know what to say to this, as much as he denied it, he still wanted a chance with Zuko, and knowing that it was almost impossible wasn’t pleasing to him.

“now if you excuse me, i have to go. goodnight Sokka.” the firebender said, and he got out of the water to go back to his room, leaving Sokka alone.

he closed his eyes, and rested his head back on the border of the bath. why did it matter so much to him anyways? it’s not like he wanted to date Zuko again. even if he wanted to crash his lips onto Zuko’s, or kept looking at his perfectly sculpted face during the boring meeting, the way his mouth moved while he pronounced words that Sokka didn’t bother to listen to. 

he didn’t want Zuko back, that’s the last thing he wanted, he thought. he took some water and splashing it in his face in order to snap Zuko off his mind, with little success. he sighed and went back to his room.

* * *

he got dressed for bed, even if it still was very early compared to when he normally went to meet his dreams. he had nothing planned for the next day, so it was no need for him to go to sleep so early in the evening, but it was better than to think about Zuko. he crashed in the middle of the bed, and drifted to sleep. he dreamed of him, of course. it was only his third day of being around Zuko, yet he couldn’t get bored of him running around in his head. he dreamed of kissing him, touching him, telling him how much he had missed him. 

he woke up in a cold sweat, panting. 

_fuck. what was that Sokka? you can’t be out there dreaming about Zuko like that. why are you even thinking about him?_

he got up and went to his personal bathroom, leaning on the sink, he looked at himself in the mirror. 

“you do not like Zuko. you do not like Zuko.” he repeated, “hello i’m Sokka, i’m the southern water tribe ambassador and i am not in love with my best friend _Zuko_! see! i do not like him.” he gave himself a half believable smile and went back to bed, where he dreamed about him again, this time with no interruption.

* * *

he woke up the next morning, his mind was clearer than when he got drifted off his dream in the middle of the night the night before. he put on a shirt and went to the dining room, not bothering putting his hair up in his usual wolf tail. he entered the room to see Zuko sitting besides Suki.

“hello Sokka! how are you?” she said, offering a bright smile.

“good, good thanks. what about you?” he said, returning a faint smile. he looked at Zuko, who was eating his breakfast. his hair were completely down and he was wearing a red robe. Sokka couldn’t help but admire how good he looked.

“i’m good thanks. anyways, Zuko, i hope you figure this whole thing out.” she said, putting her hand on Zuko’s shoulder, “Sokka.” she smiled. 

Zuko thanked her and she left.

“figuring what?” Sokka asked, curious.

“she’s going back to Kyoshi island and i need a new guard.” 

“what! already?” 

“yeah... you haven’t seen her for that long, sorry.” Zuko said, looking down

“and do you  really need a personal guard? you’re a firebender after all, it’s not like you were helpless.” 

“i don’t know. i guess it’s just  _ normal _ for a firelord to have a guard.”

“well you’re not a _normal_ firelord.”

“what do you mean by that?” Zuko said, leaving his eyes from his plate and laying them on Sokka. his eyebrow twitched a little.

“n-not in  _ that _ way, i mean you’re the only firelord in a hundred years to not want war.”

“yeah... i guess.” he said, and he laid his eyes back on his food.

“so if Suki is leaving soon... maybe i should spend some time with her before she goes away.” 

“i never asked, what happened between you two?” Zuko asked.

“it got complicated but basically we stopped writing after a while and never really... contacted each other again after that.”

“what do you mean  _ complicated _ ?”

“well after, uh... you and i broke up... she kind of admitted she still had feelings for me so...”

“ _so_ _ what _ ?” Zuko said, his tone a little off.

“what? are you jealous?” Sokka said playfully.

“nothing to be jealous about.” Zuko looked down at his plate again, trying to hide his blush, “continue.”

“yeah right, she told me she liked me and i told her i didn’t and then we stopped talking.” 

“that’s it?” 

“yeah.”

“this is not what  complicated means.” Zuko said.

“eh, whatever. i’ll go look for her now.” Sokka said, leaving the table.

why was Zuko bothered by this anyway? it’s not like he liked Sokka, and what did he care that Suki had feelings for him a few years back? he finished his food and went to his study room to get himself to work. yet he couldn’t stop thinking about Sokka. 

_ no not again i can’t afford to like him again .  and why him? why not some random guy that i could get over in a matter of days.  _

he thought about last time he went in Sokka’s room to apologize. how close they were, and how he didn’t move away from what could’ve ended up in a kiss. he blushed to the idea of kissing Sokka again. he was happy when they were together, and he kind of regretted letting the break up happen. 

_ it was what was best for both of you Zuko _ _,_ his inner voice said,  _ what would people say anyways? a firelord having a boyfriend? or even worse, a husband? you guys weren’t meant to last anyways, it was just a little teenage experiment. _

“Sokka was not an experiment.” he mumbled to himself.

Zuko sighed, he believed in what he thought, except for the experiment part. maybe his feelings for Sokka were slowly coming back, but he was determined to push them down until they went away. that’s how it worked for most of his feelings anyways now. no one could listen to him, and even though Suki offered multiple times for him to open up, he never wanted to disturb her, so he pushed down whatever he was feeling and went with it. 

maybe his feelings for the water tribe boy would be harder but whatever it would take, he was ready. 

* * *

they were walking around for a while now, an uncomfortable silence was set. 

“i wanted to apologize? i think i never did that.” Sokka broke the silence.

“for what?” Suki asked.

“um... never answering to your letters?” 

“yeah but i’m not mad at you for that.” 

“you’re not? i mean, makes sense because you’ve been nice to me since i arrived but i thought it was a trap so-“ he got interrupted by Suki’s finger on his mouth.

“it’s alright Sokka, we’re _friends_. and i shouldn’t have put my feelings in your head when you just had broken up with Zuko. i don’t know what i was thinking really, it was kind of immature in a way and i’m completely over you now.” she insisted.

“i still apologize though.” said Sokka.

“if you want to. apologies taken.” she smiled, he smiled back, “so... talking about the firelord, what do you think of him?” 

“what do you mean  _ think of him _ ? he’s just fine. he looks like he can rule a nation and that’s all it takes.”

“not in that way,” she giggled, “i mean, you know, do you... like him kinda?” 

Sokka blushed and looked away, he didn’t like Zuko,  _ or did he _ ?

“pffft! what? nooo. nope, not me. nope nope nope not Zuko.” he said.

“you really are a bad liar.” she laughed, “it’s okay you’ll-“ Suki got interrupted by Sokka noticing a cactus juice stand.

“CACTUS JUICE!” he ran to the little booth where an old man was sitting, waiting for some buyers. lucky for him, it had been years since Sokka first drank cactus juice, and even tho he promised himself to never drink it again, the rarity of the juice made it irresistible. 

“are you a minor?” the man asked.

“seriously, do i look like a minor to you mister?” Sokka said, pointing at his face and raising his eyebrows, Suki walked besides him and looked at what they had to offer.

“you could be a very developed teenager for all i know.” the man said.

“well what do i gotta do to prove to you that i’m an adult?” Sokka said, waiting for a challenge.

“meh, i don’t have time for those games. how many you want?” 

“two.” Sokka said, showing the numbers on his fingers also.

the man put two cactuses into a small bag and exchanged it for some coins, storing them in a little wooden box.

“so if you need the buyer to be an adult... how to you get to sell them like that in the middle of the day?” Suki asked the old man.

“well they didn’t caught me yet so i’m good.” he replied, his feet on the counter of the booth.

“and where do you find those?” she asked, pointing at a cactus.

“where do you think? in the middle of the ocean? where do cactuses grow?” he said, a little irritated, “now if you don’t stop asking questions.

“Suki lets go it’s getting late.” Sokka said, grabbing her forearm and walking away, avoiding a scene, “ i can’t believe i found cactus juice! how amazing is that?” 

“it’s... great. i guess.” Suki said, detached.

“hey are you alright?” Sokka asked.

“yeah... i guess it’s just weird how i spent the last two years of my life in this palace and now i finally get to go home, permanently.” 

“that’s... great. is it?” 

“i suppose it is. i don’t know, it’s just so weird leaving and as much as i’m happy to go back to my girls, i’ll miss Zuko. not to mention that you too just arrived and we barely spent time together.” 

“yeah... you and Zuko grew really close to each other didn’t you.” Sokka said, a soft smile on.

“we did. he became one of my closest friends, i never would’ve thought destiny would lead us to this. especially if we look back on the first impression he made.” she said, laughing a little.

“yeah right, him burning down your whole village maybe wasn’t the best of first introduction.” Sokka laughed too, and they walked back to the palace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i updated twice in a day don’t talk about it. also very sorry to Suki for how i made her look in that one but promise i’ll do her justice.


	5. Chapter 5

“Zuko! look what i found!” Sokka said, barging into Zuko’s study room.

“what?” he said, his eyes on a paper.

“oh uh, sorry for bothering you i can leave you to it if you want.” Sokka said, realizing he was where Zuko didn’t want him to be, he blushed.

“no it’s fine. just show me.” 

Sokka smiled and bragged the bag which contained the two cactuses. 

“and...?” Zuko asked, not understanding why two cactuses were the reason why Sokka was so excited.

“and? do you realize what this is?” Sokka said, even more excited.

“no?” Zuko raised an eyebrow.

“cactus juice! it’s amazing! last time i drank some of that you were still our biggest enemy.” Sokka explained, trying to grab Zuko’s attention.

“wow... that was a long time ago.” Zuko said, uninterested.

“do you realize how cool this is?” Sokka insisted.

“it’s just juice from a plant that grows in the desert.”

“exactly! it’s super rare! i drank it by accident and i got to see full of stuff.”,  Zuko looked at Sokka, raising his eyebrow. Sokka obviously picked up on it and explained further, “basically, whatever there is in this juice it makes you hallucinate things.” 

“what? how is that not illegal?” Zuko said.

“i don’t know but please don’t make it illegal it’s so much fun! and not all the time don’t worry i just want to see what it does now.” Sokka reassured.

“you’re gonna drink it now?” Zuko pointed at the bag.

“i don’t know... should i?” Sokka shrugged, for an instant, he really thought that he might have a chance with getting Zuko out of his study room.

“whatever. please get out of my study.” Zuko said, going back to his paper.

“oh okay mister firelord sorry for bothering.” Sokka said, he then left the room.

he walked back to his room, wondering why was Zuko so off. did he do anything? if he did then he couldn’t seem to recall what it was.

he crashed onto the bed, staring at the ceiling for a little too long. why did it bother him anyway, it’s not like he liked Zuko. well he still cared for him and he didn’t want to be on bad terms with him after all. he wondered what he did to put himself into that situation.

he sighed, maybe a little bit of fresh air would help him clear his thoughts. he grabbed his sword and made his way to the fountain. it was quiet, no one was out as it was nighttime. he started sparing alone, using his imagination in order to create his opponent. after a few minutes of sparing against himself, trying to focus on what if the opponent was actually real.

“mind if i join?” he heard behind him.

he jumped, not expecting anyone. he looked over his shoulder to see Zuko, his hair up, standing with his swords in both of his hands. Sokka nodded and put himself in defensive mode, Zuko doing the same. 

and then, it felt like old times again. Sokka forgot Zuko of the present, and now they were Sokka and Zuko of the past. they rushed into each other, as usual, Zuko being soft on him, which cost him his first round.

“i won.” Sokka said, smirking.

“i was going easy on you.” Zuko said, “rematch?”

and again, they spared. this one was more intense, as Zuko was using almost most of his full strength, yet he was holding back in order to not hurt Sokka. 

“you’ve gotten quite good.” Zuko said, in the middle of sparing.

“thank you.” Sokka answered, “i can see you’re holding back.”

“i don’t want to hurt you.” Zuko said before successfully putting Sokka down, “and i won this one.”

“rematch?” Sokka smiled, the moon lighting the scene.

Zuko agreed, taking Sokka’s hand in order to help him get up. once Sokka was back on his feet, he didn’t let go of Zuko’s hand. they were standing pretty close to each other, no one seeming to be bothered by it. they starred into the other’s eyes for what seemed more than a minute, trying to make the other crack, yet nothing. 

blue eyes mixed with gold. 

they went back and forth between eyes and mouth.

“this feels familiar.” Sokka said, his voice was very low.

“it... _does_.” Zuko said, crashing his lips on Sokka’s.

he kissed back, dropping his sword to the ground. Zuko was cupping Sokka’s jaw, Sokka holding Zuko’s hips.

it felt like it had been forever. and it had, they weren’t wrong about it. they kissed for a good minute, each adding more, as if it was the last time they were going to do it, and as if it was the first time they had found themselves in that situation. but then they seemed to realize what they were doing and quickly stepped away from each other.

“i’m sorry i shouldn’t-“ Zuko said, blushing.

“no i shouldn’t have i’m sorry” Sokka said back, his whole face felt like it was on _fire_.

“can we pretend this never happened?” Zuko said, rubbing his throat. 

“what?” Sokka said surprised, he didn’t _want_ to forget about this moment. he wasn’t sure if he was even _able_ to.

“i- i can’t like another boy Sokka. you have to understand.” Zuko said, he looked like he was panicked, it hurt Sokka somehow.

“okay. we’re just friends, and this meant nothing.” Sokka said.

“great.” Zuko said, not convinced. however what else could he say? he didn’t want to believe that he, the firelord, could be dating a man again, so why was he so sad?

Sokka gave him a broken smile and they went back to their room, head full. 

* * *

as much as he didn’t want to admit it to himself he felt hurt. maybe it was the fact that after all he thought him and Zuko could have a second chance. as much as he kept denying his feelings for the firelord, his feelings were rapidly catching up to him. he rolled over and over in the bed, trying to find a position that was comfortable enough to make him forget about that moment they had shared. how much he had enjoyed it after all. they felt close, like everything they had missed was back in an instant of a kiss.

but still. why would Zuko, out of all the person i wish didn’t kiss me, why did _HE_ have to do it?

“ _but you liked it_.”

_ that’s not the point. the point is that it’s over now and we’re just great friends. _

“ _sure thing._ ”

and Sokka went to sleep, thinking about what he could do to forget that kiss.

* * *

Zuko was walking around his room, making circles. how could he have been so stupid? kissing Sokka on his what, fourth day here? he sat on his bed, his head in his hands. he didn’t know _why_ exactly he did it. he just thought about how good Sokka looked in that moment, how badly he wanted his lips to touch the water tribe boy’s and next thing he knew, they were kissing. what surprised him the most was the fact that Sokka didn’t pull away, he even gladly kissed back. did that mean that he liked Zuko? shit.

_ nononononono. _

Sokka can’t like him, because he _can’t_ like Sokka. if Sokka ended up having feelings for him he didn’t know what he could do. it’s not that he didn’t  appreciate  him, it’s just that Zuko couldn’t manage to be with a boy publicly. he was now the firelord, it was different from when they were still 18, he lived at the palace now, and he barely went anywhere else. he was also supposed to give the fire nation a successor to his name, which is why it was frowned upon to like the same sex since you couldn’t have any kids. 

Zuko knew that, it was the main thing that was stopping him. the other one being afraid to face his own feelings again. it had been years since he last opened someone, and that someone was Sokka. he had somewhat accepted his firelord status and since then his feelings had little to no place in his life. facing Sokka again was like facing being open again, and he didn’t want that. because he was afraid in how it would impact him, his way of ruling, and mainly, how the people would see him. he removed his head from his hands, his face was completely wet, tears had been falling down his eyes without him even noticing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the once again very short chapter :(


	6. Chapter 6

it had now been a little over a week since Sokka arrived in the fire nation. Zuko and Sokka barely talked since that night where they had kissed, both afraid to bring up the conversation accidentally or simply not being able to handle the awkward tension between them. they had at least one meeting a week, sometimes two, occasionally three. those were the only moment where it was less awkward.

Zuko didn’t want to see Soka too much, he didn’t want to allow himself to be vulnerable again, so he spent most time in his study room. he didn’t know why he didn’t let Sokka enter, or at least made him believe that he couldn’t. the maids probably told him that it’s his personal space anyways, that’s why he didn’t come so often, and when he did he stayed outside. Zuko felt bad for not telling him, but at the same time he enjoyed the moments of silence where he could be at peace and read important stuff or think about anything. like think about trying to not think about Sokka. 

_ fuck. not again. _

Sokka didn’t try to see Zuko more than Zuko tried to see him. he didn’t want to push things and it was already awkward anyways. he hated himself for it in a way, because now it was weird all over again, and he still was staying at the palace for Tui knows long. 

with Suki gone, he didn’t know who else he could talk to. he had thought about going back to Zuko, to talk to him like he was a normal person, yet he couldn’t. each time he tried to say something his heart would start beating faster, and he could feel it in his ears. his cheeks became flushed and he had a hard time formulating actual sentences. this wasn’t usual Sokka, and he knew it. he hated it. he hated the fact that Zuko had power over him again, but this time Zuko didn’t want him back, maybe. he still had that little hope that maybe he did like him back. he did kiss him first last time though, so what was that all about then? 

_ it was about nothing. he told you to forget about it. _

_ “but i can’t seem to. i still have so many questions that can’t be answered by me.”  _

_ ask him yourself then. _

_ “i can’t.” _

_ why is that. _

_ “he hates me.”  _

_ he doesn’t. go to his room and ask him. _

maybe it was a good idea after all to talk to Zuko about how he was feeling, and ask what he had been wondering about that kiss.

he walked over to Zuko’s room, his feet feeling heavy. knocking on the heavy door, Sokka could hear his heart pumping faster and faster to the thought of Zuko opening the door and looking directly at Sokka.

_ calm down it’s simply Zuko, it’s  _ just _ Zuko. _

the door slowly opened to a half asleep firelord. his hair were down and the front part were up in a bun placed carefully behind his head. he was in a robe, his torso bare and only some pants for the bottom. 

“yes?” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“i- um yea so- can we uh talk?” Sokka struggled, his cheeks red.

“right now?” Zuko said, unsure.

“if you can of course i don’t mean to bother you or anything you know you gotta get a good night of sleep!” 

“ugh fine... get it.” Zuko said rolling his eyes.

* * *

they sat on his bed, a little distant from each other. Sokka’s heart was beating fast, he didn’t know why but being in the same room as Zuko made him feel strange. 

“talk.” Zuko said.

“so.” he took a deep breath, “we haven’t been talking since, the sword night, and i’d really like if we could you know... be alright again?”

“we _are_ alright Sokka.”

“no we aren’t Zuko. look at me in the eyes and tell me that we are fine.” Sokka dared Zuko,

“we. are... fine.” he said, coldly looking in the water tribe’s eyes.

“fine. if you wanna act as if we were okay then i’m leaving.” Sokka said getting up and walking towards the door.

he had hoped that Zuko would change his mind and grab his forearm. unfortunately for him, he walked back to his room alone and empty. crashing back in his bed, he thought,

_ what am i doing wrong for him to hate me like that. _

* * *

Zuko was still sitting on his bed, he hasn’t moved since Sokka left a few minutes ago. meanwhile it hurt him to see Sokka’s eyes turn greyish, it was better for him to distance himself from the only person he had met so far that could make him feel this great about his self all the time, and he hated it. 

he hated the fact that Sokka was in his mind again, taking up all the space he had left to thinking about other things. he couldn’t send him home, he needed him. yet he hated him, or mostly he hated his feelings  for  him. Zuko wasn’t in denial about who he was, no, that he was sure of. he was in denial about liking someone that hit so close to him yet so far. he went to bed, his mind racing, not being able to shut it up. he rolled over and over to each side, closing his eyes a little harder each time, trying to make himself fall asleep. after what seemed like two hours of struggling for it to come, he decided it would be better for him to try and change his ideas he put on a shirt and some slippers and went to his favourite place. it was calm, the moonlight was lighting the scene, and even if it was not that bright he could still use his firebending in order to create a source of light. 

sitting down on the grass, his head on leaned on a tree and his eyes closed, he breathed the fresh air of outside. it was been a while since he went to the fountain. it had be a while since he haven’t been outside at all. he spent all his days inside in his study or in his immense bedroom. anything to avoid Sokka and conversation. being all that time inside didn’t pay off well, he became more tired and his headaches were more frequent. he had missed fresh air, and the fountain. it was his place to recollect himself, his thoughts and feelings.

_ so what about Sokka. _

_ “enough about him.” _

_ but it wouldn’t go away. _

_ about Sokka. _

_ “i don’t want to see him.”  _

_ maybe you should try to talk to him. _

_ “and why is that.” _

_ because you care Zuko. as much as you’re trying to tell yourself that you don’t you do.  _

_ he had nothing to say against that. fighting with his mind was useless, he knew that he was only talking to himself and himself only. whatever he was going to say was going to be stuck there. _

_ he tried to come to you today, he tried to make the friendship work again. and you ruined it all. _

he was right. he ruined everything. it was all his fault and now Sokka hated him for it. he hated Zuko for how he rejected him, how he had kissed him and then left like nothing happened. the second he tried to make things less awkward Zuko wouldn’t allow it because... he didn’t know why.

and even worse, Sokka still wasn’t mad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY for the small chapter once again 😔 working on making them longer. anyways tomorrow is chapter seven update and then i’ll go back to posting each 4-6 days. toodles :)


	7. Chapter 7

Sokka woke up the next morning, his eyes still puffy and dry. he had cried all night long about Zuko. he had tried to fix things so why why  why  was he always pushing him away?

facing himself in the mirror was a torture. seeing how much it affected him, his eyes were red, dark circles contrasting with his blue eyes. he hated it so fucking much, he wanted to rip himself apart. 

he cleaned himself and somewhat managed to look decent. his hair in the traditional warrior tail and a blue outfit that he had missed wearing for the past week he had been there. about the past weeks, he was missing home, his sister and Aang, and Toph. meetings were boring, Zuko wasn’t lying. but most of all, it was a roller coaster of emotions the past weeks had been.

Zuko was putting him in such a variations of feelings and thoughts that he didn’t know why he was even there anymore. he wanted to go home so badly, or at least rekindle their friendship. yet he had tried, twice, and failed. _twice_. 

he went to the dining room, and even tho usually he would’ve hoped to see Zuko sitting there alone, this time he had hope that Zuko was in his study room like every other day. lucky him, the fire lord wasn’t there. he sat down and ordered a platypusbear scrambled egg with some bread, something he had been eating for the last few days. he was served and ate in silence. he hated eating in silence, alone. he hated it so much because he used to eat with Katara, or his dad and Bato. sometimes Toph when he went to visit, and they wouldn’t shut up, eating the food only when it got cold. here however, he ate the food hot and lonely. after finishing his plate, he thanked the maid and walked to the door, running into Zuko. 

“good morning.” the firelord said.

“hi.” Sokka replied, dryly.

“are you alright?” Zuko noticed the look on Sokka’s face. he was pale and his cheeks didn’t have that usual joy in them, he felt guilt take over him.

“i guess i am.” and he left.

* * *

he wandered around, he knew the place by heart now. he had spent so much of his free time just looking around. plus, he was quite good at memorizing stuff.  it was big, the palace. at first look, you’d wonder how could someone live in it alone for so long without driving insane,Sokka knew the answer now. he continued walking around, losing track of time as he passed the same door twice, and then walking in front of Zuko’s study room, he noticed the door was open, taking a look inside. 

it was empty. no Zuko in sight.

_should i_?

after a few seconds only of thinking, he walked in. what was there to lose anyways? looking around the room, he found it familiar and welcoming, yet so cold. it was weird, thinking about how Ozai had used this, and Azulon, and so did Sozin, and now Zuko was using it. 

“having fun?” he heard.

turning around to see Zuko’s figure standing behind him, his eyebrow frowned.

“well... actually...” Sokka stuttered. 

Zuko walked to him, what was he going to do? send him home, or worse an agni kai? getting dangerously close, Zuko thought about letting it go. it wasn’t that big of a deal anyways, it was just a room. but there was something about not telling Sokka, and him entering the room without his permission that was making him think twice. the tension was climbing as Zuko unconsciously pushed Sokka against the table, his face getting closer and closer.

“uh Zuko...” Sokka sweated.

“what?” Zuko said, his tone low.

“you-you’re very close right now.” 

“having a problem with that?” he smirked.

Sokka’s cheeks were flustered, turning reddish to the atmosphere of the room. Zuko could see the thoughts rushing through Sokka’s mind. the way his eyebrows went from soft to furrowed and how his eyes turned even grayer than they used to. in that moment, Zuko knew he fucked up.

“if this isn’t going to lead anywhere i’d rather not Zuko.” Sokka said.

Zuko took conscience again and stepped back, his whole face red.

“i don’t know what took over me i’m sorry.” he blurted out. 

Sokka sighed and walked over to the door, about to leave when he felt Zuko’s hand gripping on his forearm. he turned around, seeing Zuko with a worried look on his face. his heart ached, what did he want? 

“Zuko i can’t keep doing this. you can’t play with my feelings like that, you can’t keep being on and off and using me as if i were your toy!” Sokka said loudly, Zuko’s grip still on him, “tell me what you want Zuko. you need to make up your mind.” he said, waiting for an answer. 

Zuko was silent, unable to find the words to say. his eyes were looking for somewhat an understanding, maybe something that Sokka could see and understand in him. but Sokka sighed one last time, taking his hand off his arm and leaving the room. Zuko dropped on his knees, crying. begging for air as he thought about what he had ruined, he felt guilt. will he ever be able to repair this?

* * *

Iroh opened the door, it was dark outside and the room and completely black. finding Zuko laying on the floor he worried and hurried to pick him up. 

“Zuko?” he said.

Zuko barely opened his eyes.

“uncle? what are you doing here?”

“you need some rest. get on your feet.”

they slowly walked back to Zuko’s bedchambers and Iroh made him some jasmine tea in order to calm his nerves. after a few minutes spent in silence Iroh finally asked Zuko what had been bugging him.

“i don’t know uncle... it’s- it’s nothing.”

Iroh had a worried look on his face, rightfully.  “Zuko... i haven’t seen you like that since you and Sokka-”  Zuko interrupted the rest of the sentence. 

he knew, and for now he still didn’t want to bring it up, “yes i know.”

“is it about him again?” he asked worried.

Zuko was silent. his felt guilty of everything revolving around Sokka, always Sokka and only Sokka. the guy who could make him feel like he was able to float, but also the one that could hurt him the most,

“i see... what about him?”

Zuko cried, diving in his uncle’s arms, “i messed it up uncle.”

Iroh rubbed his back, mumbling a song to his ears, a song that he would often sing to his own son. 

_ leaves from the vines _

_ falling so slow _

Zuko calmed down, his eyes closed and his chin resting on Iroh’s shoulders.the words, so simple and yet so touching, we’re hitting right in his heart. 

_ like little tiny shells _

_ drifting in the foam _

_ little soldier boy _

_ come marching home _

Zuko had now stopped crying, his breath more regular, he exhaled. his cheeks were flushed and damp. his long hair were falling on his back and shoulders. he was older than that yet he felt like he was sixteen again, and then when he was twenty three.

“now what did you do.” Iroh’s voice caressed his ears.

he told him everything, not completely in the details, it wasn’t his type to overshare. but this time he didn’t hold back, he explained how he felt, his obligations as a firelord when it came to love and how it was stopping him. 

“you know Zuko the things my grandfather brought to the world, you can’t reverse it,” he looked up at Iroh, “but you can work to make it better. and i believe you have the strength and willpower to do it. you just need to find yourself.”

“but haven’t i found myself already? what more can i do?” he said, exasperated, “i feel like i’ve been over this a thousand times before uncle, when will i stop having to find myself?”

“in life you will have to find yourself multiple times. you sometimes need to take a break and enjoy what you can bring to yourself in order to grow. no matter how old you are.” Iroh put his palm over Zuko’s hand,

“thank you uncle.” Zuko said, Iroh smiled and hugged him again, “ now what are you doing here.” 

“can’t i pay my nephew a little visit?” he said.

“this is too convenient.” Zuko gave him a faint smile.

“what! it’s true. now why don’t we go and get some diner i can hear my belly roar.”

“fine let me get dressed.”

* * *

Sokka hadn’t seen Zuko since this morning. he rarely saw him anyways but this time something had been bugging him. he needed to stop thinking about it, to change his mind. he didn’t want to care so much about him anyway. 

“ _he’s playing with you why do you care_.”

_ i don’t know why. i have the feeling he truly has feelings for me in some way and he struggles with how to express them. _

“ _and you have feelings for him too_?”

...

_ i dont. _

“ _you do. no need to deny it anymore Sokka. that’s all you’re thinking about. you haven’t seen him today and you’re starting to worry even tho everyday is the same._ ”

no need to fight his own conscience, it would’ve been pointless anyways. but why  Zuko ? why  him ? the more he thought about it the more it made sense. they left each other for no other reason than distance, or more like politics. Zuko didn’t want the pressure of having a boyfriend while he was taking his firelord role more seriously. they left things unfinished, not filled enough for his feelings to have been washed away with the time that had passed. Sokka often wondered what would’ve happened if they were still together, if nothing had changed. he couldn’t feel bad anymore, he couldn’t feel mad. all he felt was guilt for letting the breakup happen, and now, he needed to tell Zuko how he truly felt.

* * *

he was sitting at a table of a restaurant that Iroh liked a lot. they served the best braised duck and even if Zuko wouldn’t dare to eat it, he knew how good it tasted. he ordered dumplings with komodo sausage and a cup of tea. 

“so, firelord Zuko, how is it going?” Iroh asked diving into his plate who had just arrived.

“please, general Iroh,” Zuko teased, “it’s been going alright.”

“what are you going to do about Sokka?”

Zuko’s face turned red, his eyes as big as two silvers, he looked around the restaurant to see if anyone heard anything before laying them back on his uncle, “we’re in public!”

“sorry sorry... so?” he said, raising his hand.

“so what?” Zuko said, playing with his food as a distraction.

“what are you going to do about... you know.”

“i have no idea. i wan- i  need to tell...  them , how sorry i am.”

“you know it might be hard to say how you truly feel at first. but you guys have the advantage of being friends first, even if you don’t always show it, it’s always been there.”

they finished eating and Zuko went back to the palace, Iroh’s words still in mind. for his uncle, he said that he had a place to stay and wouldn’t answer whatever Zuko was asking him about it.

but now he needed to tell Sokka how he felt, and how sorry he was for the way he had behaved. he walked to his chambers, his heart beating faster and faster as he thought of how he was going to formulate his words, he finally arrived at the wooden door, knocking.

no answer.

fuck he might be asleep.

ready to turn around and go back to his room, he heard footsteps coming at him.

“Zuko!” a voice shouted from the hallway.

Sokka was rapidly walking towards him. he didn’t look mad, nor did he seem sad, he just looked worried.

“where were you?” he said, panting a little.

“o-out with my uncle.” Zuko gulped.

“can we talk?” 

Zuko shook his head in agreement and they went in Sokka’s chamber. carefully closing the door behind them, they then went sitting on the bed in order to talk. both tried to sit apart from each other, and even if the bed was quite huge, they found a way,  subconsciously , to sit closer from one another.

“so what’s up?” Sokka started.

“nothing.” 

“okay...”

“what about you.” Zuko kept blushing, his cheeks were flushed.

“i’ve been looking for you this entire evening.” Sokka said, his fingers drawing on the bedsheets.

“t-thanks.” 

“i need to tell you something Zuko.” Sokka dived his eyes into Zuko’s amber golden ones, “i don’t think it can work like this.”

the words resonated in Zuko’s brain. he faced confusion and concern in his eyes. Sokka looked away, Zuko trying to read whatever he could on his face, unable to.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't necessarily want to finish this fic early (in fact i had a plan for at least 17 chapters) but i ended up... falling off the whole story. so enjoy this happy ending :)

"i like you Zuko. i really do. but it's the way you've been playing with me. first you push me against a wall, then you kiss me and just tell me to forget about it? i can't be like this Zuko! you put me in such a weird state you don't even realize how much i am head over heels for you." Sokka admitted, tears falling down from his eyes.

Zuko didn't know what to say, he hasn't seen Sokka like that since... forever. and it was his fault this time. he felt guilty, but before he could add in his apology Sokka continued.

"i never truly got over our relationship Zuko. it could've been better, it could've went better. but i'm tired of asking myself these questions because there is no answer. and now i need to know how you feel about me. because i can't keep questioning myself like that, i can't make myself wake up in the middle of the night, completely damp and you're the one on my mind." Sokka looked at Zuko, who was in shock. the silence was king of the moment, Sokka looked at the floor, ashamed of himself for blurting out his feelings and getting nothing in return.

"i'm sorry." Zuko finally spoke up, "i- i'm sorry about all i ever did to you. i'm sorry if i hurt you and if i made you question. the truth is... i like you Sokka." he looked up at the firebender who was in tears, "i feel so guilty for denying it. i feel guilty for acting like an asshole. and i'm so sorry for what i brought to you ever since... well, ever since you arrived. i- i guess i just can't face it. i can't face the fact that i like you all over again. i can't face the fact that i'm vulnerable around you and i'm scared i can't offer you what we had before."

"what do you mean." Sokka raised an eyebrow.

"i- i'm scared of how much i would give up for you." Zuko said, tears flowing, "i'm sorry." he said, wiping off his tears.

Sokka got closer, cupping Zuko's left side with his hand he turned his head around and wiped off the tears with his thumb. slowly, his face got closer to Zuko's, leaning in for a kiss.

his lips fell on Zuko's, before shortly parting them. Sokka looked at Zuko who was still sitting in front of him, his face still a little bit damp due to his tears. and Zuko went back into it. their lips softly crashed into each other's again as if it had been years since they haven't kissed. in a way it was true, meanwhile yes the kiss back at the fountain had been something that they had both wanted, it didn't feel the same it did at this instant. they pulled away, their forehead touching, both tried to catch their breath. Sokka's hand was behind Zuko's throat, as he reached out for thé firebender's hand, Zuko murmured.

"i'm sorry."

"i forgive you." Sokka said, "it's not like i have the ability to be mad at you for anything anyways." he let out a small laugh, his hand was interlocked with Zuko's, "wanna spend the night here?" the water tribe man proposed.

"like good old times uh." Zuko smirked.

they went to change and later went in bed to cuddle. Zuko's head on Sokka's chest.

"i missed this." Zuko said.

"what?" Sokka said, his eyes closed.

"being close to you. i missed it."

"me too. not talking to you was a pain in the ass." Sokka said, Zuko let out a faint laugh.

"yea it was. i'm sorry." Zuko sighed.

"it's alright Zuko, i understand. but i'm here now, i'll always be." Sokka said, hugging Zuko even tighter.

they fell asleep in each other's arms. it felt great, for once since he had first arrived, Sokka felt home.

he woke up the next morning, Zuko still on his chest. it was rare that the firelord would wake up later than him, he had more duties and overall "rises with the sun" or whatever. he took a moment to look at him closely, examining how much he had changed since the last time they had that much proximity. he was in fact, way more sculpted facially. his scar hadn't changed much, it had adapted to his face. he brought his hand to Zuko's face, gently rubbing the mark that he hated so much before. spirits he was beautiful. his eyes opened to the touch of Sokka's hand on his face. he grabbed his hand and held it on his face, leaving a small sigh.

"hey." the blue eyed man said.

"hey." the firelord said back, his eyes still closed and his hand still holding back Sokka's.

"how'd you sleep?"

"great. you?" Zuko said, removing his hand, setting Sokka free. but he simply brought his hand to the firebender's neck.

"yeah... i always sleep well when i'm with you." Sokka blushed.

"wanna go eat?"

"why do you even bother asking of course i want to eat." Sokka laughed off and so did Zuko.

they got dressed at walked to the dining room, still chatting. they sat at their respective seats and ordered some things.

"you never cook for yourself?" Sokka asked as he finished placing his order.

"rarely. i don't need to anyway."

it went silent for a minute before Sokka spoke again.

"any plans for today?"

"i mean i have a lot of work to take care of."

"i could help." Sokka proposed.

"what?" Zuko said, he never thought about Sokka helping him, was he even able to?

"i could help you doing whatever you need help with."

"but you're not even the firelord."

"and? i'm an ambassor." Sokka said proudly, "it would probably help to have an outside view to help the fire nation. and plus, we get to spend more time together."

"fine we'll see how it goes." Zuko gave in, he didn't want or need to argue with Sokka, he knew he was always going to win anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that’s it! but before leaving i think i owe you guys an explanation:  
> this is all like... very painful to say but i am like, zero proud of this story. like at all.  
> to explain things, i started writing this story back in like november and my writing style has changed so much, improved and just in general evolved. not only that, but i also informed myself more on the whole ‘firelord Zuko’ part and it’s just like... zero what i pictured it like in this fic.  
> +i started writing another fic (that i ABSOLUTELY love) so it kinda just didn’t help with my whole appreciation of this fic. 
> 
> so anyways, instead of forcing myself to keep and keep writing a story that i don’t like, i just left you guys with a happy ending :)) 
> 
> love, Zukkashipper Xx

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked this chapter! don’t hesitate to leave a kudo and a comment on what you thought i love reading them :)  
> follow me on twitter : @zukkashipper


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